Search This Blog

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Blogging What I've learned

I've learned it's very difficult to sit down and put you're thoughts into words and get the meaning that you desire. It's hard to find the time and the energy. Especially when my two year old is climbing up my lap screaming "MY TURN!" It's hard to make yourself sit there and write something no matter what. I am freely admitting that I did a very poor job of doing this daily. Maybe, that's the reason that I didn't not get that much out of this writing assignment. I didn't really see what the point was. Why write something when you know no one is going  to read it? I suppose for my own mental sanity. It did help to resolve some own issues going on in my head, but I don't think I learned anything in doing this. I didn't learn to better my grammar or expand my vocabulary, The two things I need the most help in. Maybe I would have learned how to better these things if I had some feed back but as I said no one even read my posts.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Stress Stress and More Stress

Woke up this morning, after a very restless night sleep, and could hardly catch my breath. My hearts racing and have a sharp pain in my side. At first I thought I was feeling under the weather again but I'm thinking this is different. After going through my date book trying to figure out what I needed to get done today and this week all my symptoms proceeded to get worse. Which leads me to believe it's stress causing it. Every single day in my date book is taken either by school plays, field trips, school, homework, appointments, the list is endless! I need to pencil in time for my own husband! When did this happen? I need to take a step back, slow down, and enjoy life. I tell myself this but at the same time I'm thinking about all the things I should be doing rather then sitting here at the computer writing this blog... I'll figure it out... maybe

Ugh Love fall but Geeze!

lucky me! fall is here and i am not feeling so hot! i am blaming this bug on the change in the weather! all i know is this superbug better be gone by tomorrow! nothing like a horrible headache, nasal issues, feeling nausea and wanting to sleep! SUCKS! i am still feeling like! guess i will be heading to bed early tonight! Good thing I have a great husband to take care of me and my little girls!!

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Just a feeling

Today is just one of those day's when I feel just plain awful about myself. I didn't even want to post a blog because I know that my writing isn't as good as many many many other people. So what's the point? Today I'm doing this as therapy for myself. Why not? A big whopping total of two people will read this anyway.

I'm fighting real hard with my bipolar today. One moment I'm feeling worthless the next I'm thinking that life can't get any better than this. Now I'm back in the dumps wonder what the point is. I wonder why my husband is even with me. I'm so moody and cranky anymore I can't even see why anyone would want to stand me. I'm working on it. When I realize I'm getting upset over little things I try to back down and take a deep breathe sometimes walk away.

On a much brighter note. My bestie asked me to be her Maid-of-honor! Yay!!! The wedding isn't for awhile but I just can't wait! I've been in three wedding thus far but never a maid-of-honor. It's just so ironic because I've been feeling so out of it with all my friends feeling as if I don't really have anyone close to me.With life, school, husband, and three kids I get so caught up. Can't wait to go wedding dress shopping!

Friday, September 24, 2010

Another Birthday in the family

I feel so blessed to be involved with all our family this year. Though, it has cost a lot of time and money with all the birthday party's it feels great to be so involved. In the years past my husband and I were either about to have another baby or had a new born and we're able to be there but this year we have thrown a birthday party for all family member's or attended their birthday party. That is saying a lot since there are eight nieces and nephews at the moment and their parents! It has been a busy year! Most all the birthday's are in August and September. I also have thrown two baby showers, attended two, and about to throw another baby shower next weekend. A couple years ago I missed out on the birth of two of my nieces because my husband and I were separated I feel so lucky to be able to be apart of their life now.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Thursday September 23

My niece had a doctor appointment today with a specialist with an office a hour drive from where we live. We  intend to leave the house early and get a head start on  the day. Instead we leave thirty minutes late and rush to the appointment. We call them when we are about half way there to let them know we are running late. Come to find out the appointment was at 2:30 instead of the 10:30 we thought it was. Was bummed at first we would have to find something to do but at least they didn't cancel the appointment for being late that would have been a wasted trip. We go to Mc D's and get some lunch. That took all of fifteen minutes. We don't go into the city much. we live 20 mins from any type of town. Though I know my way around we don't have much money to go spending. We decide to head to the mall at least there you can window shop. And that we did. We also found eight shirts all under $5 some of them being only $2. What a deal! Honestly I have bought myself new clothes in almost a year. Everything I own I wore while I was pregnant and don't fit. It felt so good to be able to but myself something without hardly spending any money!

Also, the doctor appointment went great and was nothing but good news!

Wednesday September 22

I was in the store today getting a new wireless internet card. The associate that was working with me was on the phone trying to getting everything hooked up and ready to go. As he was doing this I browsed through the phones and merchandise waiting. I hear to children outside and look through the wall size window and see to beautiful little girls. One with  long dark hair and one short choppy blonde hair girl no bigger then two. An older women walks the girl's into the store with an attitude. I can tell she has probably had her hands full all day with these two little live wires. This poor associate behind the counter doesn't even see what's coming. I see it. I see the way this women walks with purpose with every step. The mad set of her shoulders. The hateful look on her face. These things I see in a matter of seconds that it took for her to walk in the door and half way across the room. She lets in on this poor associate proceeding to blame all her woes and worries on this girl behind the counter.

Why do we do that? I would like to say that I have never done it but it would be a lie. I have. I would be having an awful day one things sets me over the edge and I take it out on a poor helpless stranger. This associate couldn't have don't anything to prevent this women's anger. It was there to start with before she even walked in the door she had her mind set on anger. We need to open our mind. To try to see the best in every situation. Myself included. Lucky the associate was able to defer the ladies anger and take care of her customer. I applaud her for that. and will remind myself to keep tabs on my own anger.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Monday, September 20

I went ahead and let Melissa go to school today. I'm so worried she's got to re-open her stitches! I've been in constant worry all day. I left for classes before she got home so I wont know how it went till I get home around 11 tonight.

In my first class today, nutrition, we found out are body mass intake with a little hand held computer thing. I was in the normal range almost underweight. I used to always be in the underweight. Every time I got pregnant doctors would get onto me to make sure I was eating enough calories and so on. Since having my littlest girl I have not been able to loose more then five pounds since coming from the hospital. Oh well I'm curvy now and learning to love it!

Have psychology group project tonight that I'm worried about. I'm sure it will go smooth enough.

Week 5 comp

Sunday September 19
This morning Josh took the younger girls out of the house so that my oldest could rest up. Her knee is pretty swollen and red today. I don't think it looks to irritated but will keep a very close I on it. We aren't doing anything but laying in my bed watching cartoon's and reading. At the moment I am reading a Susan Wiggs book "Just breathe" So far it seems to be a very good book. The main character, Sarah, hates her home town next on the coast in California and moves to Chicago to go to college. Straight after college she marries. They find out her husband has cancer. After a long road through recovery they try to get pregnant and she ends up having to do in invetro. On the day of her last treatment she find her husband in the arms of another women. She leaves him and runs back home to California only to find out she's pregnant, with twins!

Birthday party tonight for my brother who turns 27!

Week 4 post 3

Saturday September 17

Wow what a day would never had thought waking up this morning that I would have spent the evening in the ER! Let's back track and start at the beginning. Started out like any other Saturday morning watching cartoon's with the girlie's and listening to them yell "I WANT THIS!" During every commercial break. Let's just say we got an early start on our Christmas want list this year. After carton's and breakfast we start getting ready to head to my mother-in-laws house with hubby and kids in tow. Of course the process of getting the girls dressed and ready had to turn in a challenge and into an argument with  my husband. He insists he'll just go himself with the kids to cool off. I wouldn't back down and we settled things and headed over to his moms. We spent the entire day over there. I was starving and ready to head home but hubby wanted to do some target shooting with his brother. By this time it was getting dark, could barley see, the darn misquotes were attacking and the girl were dirty, muddy, and cranky. Oh well, I'll just sit back relax and enjoy and conversation with my mother-in-law and aunt. Nope not going to happen. With my three kids, two other six year old's, and a ten year old playing in the mud someone was bound to get hurt. It just happened to be my oldest, Melissa. She tripped in the mud and came to me crying.  I couldn't really see anything wrong at first with it being dark and the mud all over her. Took her inside and squeezed a wet towel over he knee where she said it hurt. The water rinses the mud out of her wound and bright red blood starts going every where. Down her leg and all over the kitchen floor. With the water left running I run out side tell my husband and rush my lil' girl to the ER. She ended up getting four stitches in her knee. What a day!

Friday, September 17, 2010

Found out

Melissa, my six year old, had her yearly check up at the doctors. Picked her up early from school took her out to eat then we went to the park but some weird yellow bugs were all over the slides we didn't play long. Then headed over to her doctor's appointment. I knew something was up when the nurse took her blood pressure twice and took a long time listening to her heart. All I thought of it at the time was that the nurse was new. We are in there frequently with my three girls and five niece's I have become quite familiar with the staff and I had never seen her before. When the doctor comes in he too took a long time listening to her heart. Come to find out she has a heart murmur and want her to come back for a echocardiogram. They are hoping they will grow out of it but want to take any precautions they can. I'm trying not to stress about it but I'm finding that difficult.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

One of those days...

Today has been one of those days. You know the days you wish you never woke up. The days that are so horrible you can't wait for it to end but you know it will only get worse before it does. I'm needing to vent but don't even know where to begin.

Every weekday I wake my oldest up get her ready and send her on the bus to school. Meanwhile my younger to usually sleep a little longer. This makes life a little more easy. Of course today on the other hand all three of my girls were up at the crack of dawn. Myself after going to be around 1:30 in the morning, after fighting with my husband, is not all that happy about it. I've been stressed from the moment I woke up and it only had built up through out the day. Everything that could have gone wrong has. My only hope is nothing to serious happens before I can lay my head on my pillow tonight and hope for a better and brighter day tomorrow.

Know your Audience ass. 4.4

In our audience we have a vast variety of people. Reality show junkies, avid readers, cereal lovers, Dog enthusiasts, etc. People from all walks of life joined together with one common goal - to further expand our education.

After posting my question "Where are you from?" I gained quite a bit of knowledge about my audience. You can find out a lot of common interests and loves by finding out where someone came from. The question I wish I would have asked is "What influenced you decision to take an online class rather then classroom?" I think I could have found those interesting and I am surprised no one else asked this question.

As to how the audience will change the way I write, it simply will not. I will stick to my thoughts the best I know how. People who like it, will and people who don't, don't. Makes no difference to me. I did notice a lot of people bringing up God in almost every discussion and as I am glad we live in a country where we can voice our believes so freely, I will keep my personal thoughts on that matter to myself in order to prevent any conflicts. That will be the only thing I will withhold from my writing.

Credo My approach to life.

     Everyone's approach to life varies from person to person. Most of life's choices are learned from past experience's and mistake's. It doesn't even have to be our own mistakes, we can choose to learn from people's mistakes as well. I learned a lot of what not to do in a marriage from my parents. I try my best to not make those same mistakes that lead them down the road to hardship and divorce. Still try as I might I still find myself doing those things, the difference is learning, yet again, from them. In these mistakes I strive to value hard work, resourcefulness, kindness, character, and responsibility both in myself and in others. Though we stumble we may choose to learn to walk or fall.

      As I pondered on the many lessons, which life has taught me,  I also thought of how I approached various situations and events. It is entireley our veiwpoint about how we see things. If we go into something with a negative attitude we recieve negative results and vis versa.

In conclusion, my view point, I once read:

     Learn from the past.
        Live for the moment.
            Hope for the future.
Happiness is a journey not a destination

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Freewriting I believe

I believe that no matter what my bestie will always be there for me. I choose this subject because it's the most I can talk about with out getting to personal. My bestie and I have been through so much together. When I was going through a rough patch in my marriage she was there to pick me up and tell me I can do anything. Also in return I am always there for her. We can talk about anything her and I. We party like we're teenagers but hold serious conversations like we're 90 year old women and know the depth of life. (Which we don't but we try) Our daughter play together. One Halloween we squished three of our lil' girls and there car seats into my tiny four door grand am. It was interesting to say the least. Three little girls dressed up as princess's with there flashing necklace's on crammed together trying to get candy out of there pumpkins. I love my bestie. at times we grow apart but as soon as we need each other we're there in a heart beat.

I believe

I believe life is what you make of it.
I believe Life changes me every day.
I believe I have the right to choose.
I believe I can finish my education.
I believe I will be happy.
I believe Wal-mart is the devil.
I believe hope conqures all.
I believe I am a good Mother
I believe I am a good Wife.
I believe my family loves me.
I believe I will have a house built.
I believe money is not everything.
I believe I am not always right (hard to admit)
I believe it's hard to fight back tears when someone asks "Are you alright?"
I believe I can never find any bobby pins!
I believe that no matter what my Bestie will always be there for me.
I believe that Gerard Butler is to sexy for his own good!
I believe that someday I will meet my biolgical family.
I believe I will travel the world someday.
I believe I will read and read and read until I can't read anymore because there is always something to learn.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Jung Typology test

For Compostition I

The Jung Typology Test

74 question about my personality and responses to certain situations. Really 74 questions? Must of the questions were asking the same thing but opposite point of view. Couldn't we have done the same thing in 20 questions? Well, the test didn't tell me anything I didn't already know.  I'm moderately expressed extravert, moderately expressed intuitive personality, moderately expressed feeling personality, and slightly expressed judging personality. I got a 1 on the judging personality. I'm not sure how I got a one guess there was one question were I was judgemental but to be honest I'm more judgemental then that. Anyone is lieing if they say they're not. I'm not sure how this would help me in my writing style. I don't like being moderate maybe I should trying being one way or the other see if I can get major expressed extravert. I really am to "in the middle" I need to work on my views and stating what I think. I need more help telling me where to go from here no telling me where I'm at.

Blogging Day 1

My first day of blogging... I have always thought about doing a blog but never really thought I had anything interesting to talk about but thanks to the shove of my Composition I class here I am blogging about the world around me.

Leighann's first day of Preschool was today! She was so excited.
             She woke up this morning and I told her "Get dressed."
              "Why Mom?" she says
             "Because you have school." I reply
              "No, today silly."
Then she screams all the way to her room to get her clothes. Happy as can be. Her big sister started almost two weeks ago and I've had to keep telling her not yet every single day. She couldn't believe her day was finally here. We pick it up soon. I'm so worried about how her first day had gone. She's a special lil' girl that requires a lot of hands on attention and I hope her teacher's are understanding with her.

For now though it's just me and Sydney. Also Josh on the days he doesn't have class. Speaking of class mine start soon. Must jump in the shower. Ta Ta for now!!