Blogging What I've learned

I've learned it's very difficult to sit down and put you're thoughts into words and get the meaning that you desire. It's hard to find the time and the energy. Especially when my two year old is climbing up my lap screaming "MY TURN!" It's hard to make yourself sit there and write something no matter what. I am freely admitting that I did a very poor job of doing this daily. Maybe, that's the reason that I didn't not get that much out of this writing assignment. I didn't really see what the point was. Why write something when you know no one is going  to read it? I suppose for my own mental sanity. It did help to resolve some own issues going on in my head, but I don't think I learned anything in doing this. I didn't learn to better my grammar or expand my vocabulary, The two things I need the most help in. Maybe I would have learned how to better these things if I had some feed back but as I said no one even read my posts.

Stress Stress and More Stress

Woke up this morning, after a very restless night sleep, and could hardly catch my breath. My hearts racing and have a sharp pain in my side. At first I thought I was feeling under the weather again but I'm thinking this is different. After going through my date book trying to figure out what I needed to get done today and this week all my symptoms proceeded to get worse. Which leads me to believe it's stress causing it. Every single day in my date book is taken either by school plays, field trips, school, homework, appointments, the list is endless! I need to pencil in time for my own husband! When did this happen? I need to take a step back, slow down, and enjoy life. I tell myself this but at the same time I'm thinking about all the things I should be doing rather then sitting here at the computer writing this blog... I'll figure it out... maybe

Ugh Love fall but Geeze!

lucky me! fall is here and i am not feeling so hot! i am blaming this bug on the change in the weather! all i know is this superbug better be gone by tomorrow! nothing like a horrible headache, nasal issues, feeling nausea and wanting to sleep! SUCKS! i am still feeling like myself...boo! guess i will be heading to bed early tonight! Good thing I have a great husband to take care of me and my little girls!!

Just a feeling

Today is just one of those day's when I feel just plain awful about myself. I didn't even want to post a blog because I know that my writing isn't as good as many many many other people. So what's the point? Today I'm doing this as therapy for myself. Why not? A big whopping total of two people will read this anyway.

I'm fighting real hard with my bipolar today. One moment I'm feeling worthless the next I'm thinking that life can't get any better than this. Now I'm back in the dumps wonder what the point is. I wonder why my husband is even with me. I'm so moody and cranky anymore I can't even see why anyone would want to stand me. I'm working on it. When I realize I'm getting upset over little things I try to back down and take a deep breathe sometimes walk away.

On a much brighter note. My bestie asked me to be her Maid-of-honor! Yay!!! The wedding isn't for awhile but I just can't wait! I've been in three wedding thus far but never a maid-of-honor. It's just so ironic because I've been feeling so out of it with all my friends feeling as if I don't really have anyone close to me.With life, school, husband, and three kids I get so caught up. Can't wait to go wedding dress shopping!

Another Birthday in the family

I feel so blessed to be involved with all our family this year. Though, it has cost a lot of time and money with all the birthday party's it feels great to be so involved. In the years past my husband and I were either about to have another baby or had a new born and we're able to be there but this year we have thrown a birthday party for all family member's or attended their birthday party. That is saying a lot since there are eight nieces and nephews at the moment and their parents! It has been a busy year! Most all the birthday's are in August and September. I also have thrown two baby showers, attended two, and about to throw another baby shower next weekend. A couple years ago I missed out on the birth of two of my nieces because my husband and I were separated I feel so lucky to be able to be apart of their life now.

Thursday September 23

My niece had a doctor appointment today with a specialist with an office a hour drive from where we live. We  intend to leave the house early and get a head start on  the day. Instead we leave thirty minutes late and rush to the appointment. We call them when we are about half way there to let them know we are running late. Come to find out the appointment was at 2:30 instead of the 10:30 we thought it was. Was bummed at first we would have to find something to do but at least they didn't cancel the appointment for being late that would have been a wasted trip. We go to Mc D's and get some lunch. That took all of fifteen minutes. We don't go into the city much. we live 20 mins from any type of town. Though I know my way around we don't have much money to go spending. We decide to head to the mall at least there you can window shop. And that we did. We also found eight shirts all under $5 some of them being only $2. What a deal! Honestly I have bought myself new clothes in almost a year. Everything I own I wore while I was pregnant and don't fit. It felt so good to be able to but myself something without hardly spending any money!

Also, the doctor appointment went great and was nothing but good news!

Wednesday September 22

I was in the store today getting a new wireless internet card. The associate that was working with me was on the phone trying to getting everything hooked up and ready to go. As he was doing this I browsed through the phones and merchandise waiting. I hear to children outside and look through the wall size window and see to beautiful little girls. One with  long dark hair and one short choppy blonde hair girl no bigger then two. An older women walks the girl's into the store with an attitude. I can tell she has probably had her hands full all day with these two little live wires. This poor associate behind the counter doesn't even see what's coming. I see it. I see the way this women walks with purpose with every step. The mad set of her shoulders. The hateful look on her face. These things I see in a matter of seconds that it took for her to walk in the door and half way across the room. She lets in on this poor associate proceeding to blame all her woes and worries on this girl behind the counter.

Why do we do that? I would like to say that I have never done it but it would be a lie. I have. I would be having an awful day one things sets me over the edge and I take it out on a poor helpless stranger. This associate couldn't have don't anything to prevent this women's anger. It was there to start with before she even walked in the door she had her mind set on anger. We need to open our mind. To try to see the best in every situation. Myself included. Lucky the associate was able to defer the ladies anger and take care of her customer. I applaud her for that. and will remind myself to keep tabs on my own anger.